After reading yahoo article about statistics on unfaithful partners pattern

Yahoo published the interesting statistics of how love dynamics works. The findings show those whose relationships were imprinted by their fantastic sex memories are more than likely to turn their heads to temptations outside the relationships. On the other hand, guys whose relationships are based on love and happiness are less likely to be tempted by beautiful women outside the relationship.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

-Matthew Ch 7: 7

In a grand scheme, being a calvinist, I firmly believe in fate yet read a small print I also believe that we can still change things.

what struck me the most in western society is the repeated usage of this famous phrase "oh well,, it wasn't meant to be.." what the heck is that supposed to mean? A girl cheated on her husband-to-be stroke long term boy friend may be talked about by people but that conversation will end with this famous phrase. A man whose wife ran away with his best man be consoled with this famous phrase again. what is going on? It seems almost to me that people do not want to take responsibilities of what actually happened in their lives. Yes, one can not do anything about her/his partner changing their minds after personal vows and patient courtship but surely it can not be down to something that was not meant to be. Life is a constant decision making process and its actions bring the consequences. You let it happen. That's all there is to it.

Islamic world

I have been reading the book called A thousand splendid suns this month and I found myself being fascinated by the story of Afganistan women in islamic culture. Having brought up as a Christan, I have always associated Islamic world with a religious context but nothing else. Khaled Hosseini, the writer of this book wrote this story so poetically that Afganistan's grim and bloody history didn't seem to overwhelm the main characters' life story and romance.

Yesterday I was in British Museum with matt to check out the islamic world exhibition. I was so amazed by the standard of Art they had thousand years ago. They were so sophisticated and decorative that I couldn't stop looking at them. Iranian's torguoise coloured pottery, beautifully shaped arabian daggers, chinese influcenced calabash in blue and white, intricate looking geomantic equipment etc It proudly shows how flourished their culture had been once. I also found out Taj Mahal was built not by Indians but by Shah Jahan, the decendant of Central Asia and Genhis Khan who conquered india once. It was refreshing to witness there were more to the silk road than I learnt at school between Asians and Middle East.

Maybe it's high time that we closed chasm of two different worlds. Maybe It is Christans' responsibility to open up our hearts to them and try to understand them instead of dictating how things should be in their countries. Quran encourages harmony and so do we. This gap can be reduced by understanding each others. Getting to know their history will be a start for me I thought.

넋두리

한 주전 독감을 겪고선 체력이 약해졌는지 체육관에서 운동하는 것도 요즈음엔 넘 힘이 빠진다.
1년전 2직장을 겸할때 세수할 시간도 없이 바쁘게 살았어도 집안 청소는 윤기나게끔 했었는데 이젠 둘이 살지만 창틈에 끼인 먼지가 수북이 쌓여도 어느 누가 먼저 닦아내는 일이 없다. 몇년 전에 집을 사고 나서 올해에는 결혼이다 하며 돈쓰는 씀씀이가 달라진 후 credit crunch경제 분위기에 세금이 넘 올라 가슴이 터억 막힌다. 작년과 올해 사이에 월급이 천만원이 올랐다. 그러면 뭐하나, 한달에 용돈으로 떨어지는 돈은 기껏해야 몇십만원이니 이런 걱정 없이 살 수 있으면 얼마나 좋을까 싶다. 그래서 가끔은 20대로 돌아가고 싶은 맘이 든다.
고지희 돈은 없다고 징징 거려도 여행은 허벌라게 잘다닌다는 친구들의 핀잔들. 하지만 여행은 나의 현실 탈출구이기에 타협할 수 없는 부분이다. 영국에 친구도 가족도 없이 살면서 여행도 안다니면 무슨 재미에 살겠나 생각해보면 답나오지 않느냐며 받아치는 나 그러고 보면 정말 많이 돌아 다닌거 같다. 케냐, 암스테르담, 파리x2, 큐바, 코스타리카, 필리핀, 태국, 홍콩, 독일,바르세로나, 마이요카, 포르투갈,뉴욕,,,,올해 matt는 canada에 갔다오고 싶어 한다. 같이 가면 matt의 가족도 만나고 matt친구 결혼식에도 참석하고 항상 보고 싶었던 나이에가라 폭포에도 다녀올 수 있겠지만 없는 돈 쓸려하니 맘이 편치 않다. 우리는 올해신혼여행지를 south america로 잡고 알아 보고 있는데 그것도 또한 만만치 않을 거 같아 맘에 걸린다. 아! 복권당첨만 됐으면 정말 좋을텐데....

I was made a manager in the company.

It's a proof that foreign female can do well in a male-dominating industry in England.

It feels good.

Strolling around at work it suddenly came to my mind what I would have missed the most when I reach 70. Appologies friends I can not help being pensive about lefttime as I am reaching 35 pretty soon I mean, next month.

Where would my grave be? In Korea or.. in England? What would be written about me?

To me it seems evident that now is the time for a review.

Up until age 19 I pretty much wasted my life by being glued to the study desk, which I am not so proud of. I haven't given myself to learn any experience other than to learn through the text books in order to enter a good university. Having said that I vaguely remember Tchaikovsky's violin concerto made me bolt up in my bed by thrill. But Simple things like learning how to play guitar would have been thought to be waste of the time back then. guys I love learning and playing music! how sad.

Private tutors, Au pairs, cheuffeur, family holidays,,these words are reminiscent of our childhoods that my sister and I remember. yeah,, I say,, I was a happy kid. nothing special though, I think I already knew it at that point. But I was certainly one with full of compassion in her heart.

Between 19 and 25, I was busy juggling study and 2 part time tuturing jobs to pay my fees during the weeks, every saturday nite and sunday I spent most of my life in church building the fellowship and studying the Bible. Practicing to cope with reality and responsibilites.. too much Rs in my life and not enough Fs. But I would never ever swap this church experience with anything and I would do it all over again if I was asked to. We went one or two weeks camp in summer as a group and we built trust between God and ourselves while we were learning the Bible. I met a few sincere friends who I would sacrifice my life for during the time and some of them still remain close.

At age 26 my first job, something to do with English. There I have proven my shakespeare teacher at Uni was damn right. Like she said, I never flicked through any of shakespearean books after school or never felt tired from working after I got through her class.

At age 27 off to England, here I am age 34. Through my personal failures I have learnt the valuable lessons and dare to say I gained one more layer in depth to my life. By actually living it and being in it, I learnt what true myself is. Fundementally I am the same person who left Korea 8yrs ago. however how can I put it, Now inside myself is out and outside myself is in. What I have to keep reminding myself is the change of focus.


Gees, I was only reading a friend's website imagining what it feels like to drink a cup of tea from cat fur lined cup! By the way,, I wouldn't wanna drink it out of it friend, what if the fur has lice!

me poor thing

I hardly ever catch a cold. maybe one in every two years? but now I have been weakened by this nasty cold that I don't seem to be able to shake off. It started with aching body. It felt like I had millions of holes in my bones feeling continuous draft. I finally took out my sheep coat, my proud buy, the warmest coat I have from the wardrobe and wore it for two days putting up with ridicule from coworkers and ignoring matt's plea asking me to leave "the carpet" at home.

Thankfully my shiver has gone but it brought sore throat and all the rest of it. All I wanted to do over the weekend was to stay in bed and doing nothing. I pretty much did that but still not a sign of getting any better. so I took more medicine and vitamin C but for some reason 5 days on I still have a minor headache, sore throat, bad phlegm, dry cough and running nose! what the heck! I am exhausted. This illness made me think of how pensioners would feel everyday.